Growing up, I thought freedom meant making choices. The world tells you having options is freedom! The world is wrong.
Bath and Body Works lotions smell great and at 6/$36? Let’s buy 6 and have lots of choices. Somewhere in college all of this ‘freedom’ added a lot of stress. Looking back, this was my first dose of anxiety. One day, I cleaned out my lotions keeping my two favorites, got into a routine, and made fewer choices so I could make better decisions. Lots of variety, even in flowers, can’t beat simplicity.
Even completely happy people are drained of creativity and willpower when they make choices. Your body has only so much willpower each day. Do you really want to use that power and energy to choose your lotion?
And when panic and anxiety hit, making those decisions becomes more difficult.
My husband’s favorite author, Tim Ferris, describes eating the exact same breakfast every morning just so he doesn’t have to use his energy to make a choice. (Here is a GREAT podcast to put on while you drive today). The biggest lesson? ‘The point is not to do as much as possible, but the least that is required‘. I interpret this to mean have all that you need, but not more than you need.
Day 2 Challenge – #31DAYSTOHAPPY
Pick 10 little decisions and eliminate them. From the options before you, choose your favorite of the decisions and get rid of the rest.
Take some time today to sit down and write down all the decisions you make on a daily basis. Do you have three shampoos in the shower? four lotions on your counter? six cereal boxes in the pantry? twenty t shirts to choose from? A stack of books so tall you don’t know where to start?
Trim your options in ten areas of your life. Anything that can make your daily routine simpler will allow you to make better decisions when it’s really important.
NOTE: This is not about getting rid of things. It is about no longer needing to make a choice.
Specific Strategies: Some examples
Donate extra items to a women’s shelter, to a food bank, to your neighbors.
Do you have 19 colors of sharpies? Pick a favorite and clear the rest out.
Avoid the grocery store. Send someone for you if you can or make an ‘if/then’ rule to follow. If there is more than one option, you choose the least expensive/name brand/blue packaging. Make one decision before you go so you don’t have to make 20 little decisions before you leave.
Get on a dinner schedule. Round up your family’s favorite 6 or 7 meals. Make Monday pasta night, Tuesday taco night and so on. Bonus: Eating food at home has serious health benefits. Always include a vegetable and a fruit.
Kids add a wealth of decisions to your life. They ask lots of questions and you answer. Over and over and over again. It will take time, but setting rules and guidelines on when they can ask questions can help. Make a chart with answers to commonly asked questions.
Choose a single breakfast and stick with it. My kids get oatmeal one week, then cold cereal the next. On weekends, I make a hot breakfast of waffles and eggs. We don’t make decisions on breakfast so we can make decisions elsewhere.
Other decisions you might make: who is driving today, where do you go on your walk, what workout routine do you choose at the gym (if you are the gym going type ;)) what’s for lunch, what time will you wake up, go to sleep, how to respond to emails.
There are as many ways to trim the number of decisions you make as the people who make them. Do this the way that resonates with you and share what you’re changing on instagram or facebook using the tag #31daystohappy
The Payoff
Easier mornings, less decision fatigue throughout the day, and more energy to spend on choosing happy thoughts when those negative thoughts press in.
Thank you all for following along with me!
I am not a doctor and nothing I write here is a substitute for medical advice. If you are suffering from a medical condition, please seek help immediately. For my full disclaimer, please click here
I love you, don’t know you but this is seriously something I need to have in my life! Someone to lay out the plan on how to reduce and love my life. <3
this is a lovely idea, Amanda…I had to laugh at 20 tee shirts…I have a drawer full of white ones, so I never have to decide what color to wear ?
There is actual science around this phenomenon, known as decision fatigue. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decision_fatigue) Human beings can only make a certain number of quality decisions in a day. It’s why many successful people (Steve Jobs, President Obama, Mark Zuckerberg, Albert Einstein, etc…) wear or wore the exact same outfit every single day. It’s one less decision to make so that they can save their decision making for the things that actually matter.
What a wonderful and simple concept. HOW FREEING! Amanda, I Know its only two days in but you are doing a wonderful job of sharing the things that have worked for you. The ability to self reflect and make necessary changes is so necessary in each of our lives. Yesterdays post still has me thinking…
WOW! This really speaks to me today! Thanks for sharing your struggle and I’m looking forward to following along.
AsI got older I did simplify something. We fell into a dinner routine. I cleaned out my closet when I retired but there are still a number of places where the decisions are overwhelming some days. Books, makeup,cereals…time to get back at it.
I’ve never heard this idea and love it! I’m already doing it in many areas of my life (same breakfast every day), but it definitely gives me more to think about. Thanks for sharing!
I love this series that you are writing. My husband retired 5 years ago and we moved to a beautiful new home. I find it ironic but we have incorporated this premise of fewer decisions subconsciously. First, we gave away a lot of “things” when we moved There are now fewer knick knacks in our home and fewer items on our walls….the house is a much more relaxing place because there is not as much “stuff” for our eyes to take in all the time.
My husband and I always eat the same things for breakfast (and usually lunch too). I hadn’t realized that we were subconsciously simplifying our lives but I am glad we are!
You are brilliant and write so well!! You should save these and write a book.
Love the idea of this.
Ok, I’ve got day 2. I have been working on Project 333 for clothing etc. And living and working in 700 sf takes care of the rest! But I will look for decision fatigue areas of my life….
700 square feet sounds delightful! I keep asking Weston when we can move somewhere smaller. I’m so excited to have you join us!
This is so great. I used to be one that was easily paralyzed by indecision (clothes shopping was a nightmare). Somewhere along the line, I learned to trust my gut more often when making decisions. Usually (at least, for me) the first thing that comes to mind is a good choice. I’ve learned to trust my instincts and go with the first thought more often. It saves me so much time and stress that would normally be wasted on deliberating. Especially when it comes to choosing fabric or quilting designs. And when I’m clothes shopping? If I don’t love it immediately, it goes back of the rack. Even if I go home empty handed.
I feel like my house and my life and the clutter that consumes it is just a mirror of my mind and the chaos that I feel inside. All that clutter is the worst anxiety trigger which brings on feelings of inadequacy and it becomes a vicious, endless cycle. I think I will tackle my closet first. It’s a start.
I admittedly think about you often because in a lot of ways I feel like we are living parallel lives. Three young children, entrepreneurs, juggling many balls in the air trying desperately to keep any one from falling, and feeling certain that on any given day, at least one is. I too have a lot of anxiety and seemingly have been going through many of the same struggles as you recently. This post makes me certain that we would be friends. We are fighting the good fight, and I am constantly reminding myself that the days of carefree happiness are over. Happiness is a choice now. And my husband loves Tim Ferris too. We have a lot of interesting talks that come from the guests and ideas in his podcast. Thank you for sharing your struggles. It’s nice to know you’re not alone 🙂
Love love love!