If you are anything like me, at some point in this last month, discouragement has creeped in. Your old fear started niggling in the back of your mind and you maybe even felt like a failure, like you might not ever be able to overcome anxiety. Why does no one talk about discouragement? It’s almost more ok to say you have anxiety than you get discouraged. Today we are going to talk about five very specific steps to take when you feel frustration & fear throwing you off course.
Here’s my tool-kit for overcoming discouragement:
Step 1:
Name the feeling. It’s discouragement. And it’s temporary. Remind yourself you have a toolbox full of ways to handle it. Resolve to get back to hope. 
Have you been taking care of yourself? This is crucial. Look honestly at your diet and sleep. Are you in your bleach stained yoga pants eating cheez-its? (don’t judge – that’s my downfall!)
Step 3:
Did an interaction with another person or group of people throw off your equilibrium? Name the facts around the situation. What story did you create around those facts? How is that contributing to your discouragement?
Step 4:
After answering the above questions, take at least 5 minutes to meditate. Sit in a quiet space and start breathing. Think the thought and say out loud ‘I need help’. My meditations usually become a prayer. I clear my mind and talk with my creator about my needs. How can I realign my thoughts with my wants?
Step 5:
How can your gifts help relieve this frustration? Let those talents out of the bag. Gifts are tools to help me back onto the right track when I fall off the happiness wagon.
The best way to handle this, of course, is prevention. But how do you prevent discouragement? Watch for stress indicators in yourself. Are you running too far, too fast? Nourish yourself. Meditate daily. Give yourself the very best possible chance to avoid discouragement. But when it comes, it’s important to rephrase your story. This discouragement isn’t the end. It’s a chance to sit down and reexamine your path. Remember the feeling in this moment won’t last forever. This is not the end. Keep your eye on the entire game, not each pitch. There are a lot of innings left to play.
So many times I will be moving along fine, happily going through my days and then all of a sudden something shifts and I feel like I’m back at square one. In fact, this Saturday I woke up in a funk. I was mad at my husband, myself & frustrated with life in general. I had missed some goals and I was discouraged. The feeling of discouragement breathes on the embers of many of my fears and insecurities. And the feeling makes me feel like I have failed instead of that I still have a chance to win. Discouragement can feel like the end of the world.
I took an hour or so and dug into myself. I had to remind myself that not hitting a goal doesn’t mean I am a failure. It gives me an opportunity to try something new. So I picked myself up and went on my planned date with my husband where I had a lot of fun, made a neat decoration for my countertop & made a new friend. But if I had let my discouragement lock me in, none of that would have happened.
Prompt #30 – #31daystohappy
Put together a routine and a way to handle discouragement when it comes. What can you do to bring new energy into your life when you feel like it is being sucked away?
If you’ve followed my prompts, you might be more sensitive to things throwing off your equilibrium. This is part of life. It’s a chance to go through your toolbox and see what might be missing. I find that if I’m exhausted, my anxiety creeps in. Fear can do a number on my self esteem and motivation to be happy. If you find there is a recurring theme to my posts at this point, there is. Take care of yourself. Love yourself. You are important. We don’t say that to each other often enough. Really take a look at your discouragement. It might be the key to your next step to happiness.
“As with your automobile, be alert to rising temperatures, excessive speed, or a tank low on fuel. When you face “depletion depression,” make the requisite adjustments. Fatigue is the common enemy of us all—so slow down, rest up, replenish, and refill. Physicians promise us that if we do not take time to be well, we most assuredly will take time later on to be ill. – Jeffrey R Holland”
Thank you for reading along! Let me know if this is helpful in the comments!
I am not a doctor and nothing I write here is a substitute for medical advice. If you are suffering from a medical condition or unhealthy thoughts, please seek help immediately. For my full disclaimer, please click here
This is absolutely helpful! I think naming or calling out what your emotions and situations are is super helpful. Sometimes I’m just angry. If I call it out, instead of being grumpy, I can throw on some music, sing/dance along and usually turn my funk into a better day. But if I don’t admit I’m grumpy/anger/depressed, I just bite people’S head off all day. 🙂
This is beautiful! I’m going to go ahead to day one and read!
Really useful tips for spotting the indicators and being prepared to counteract them with many of the tools your 31 days has encouragement me to put in place. Thank you a hundred times for continuing your bravery to be so open and for writing so beautifully.
Thank you for telling your story. It’s hard
I am going through a situation that I have no control to change I am only able to change me and how I manage my self and my thoughts
My daughter in law divorced my son and moved their 4 children from California to Florida she has cut me out of the children’s lives I have been able to speak with them a few times when I am with my son and he is able to phone and talk to them 11, 10, 6, 4.
I do have one other grandchild ( who has a different mother) 15 who remains local so I continue to see and interact with her in the same way I used to with the 5.
Small things can set me off most resent was a soccer game I was to attend my granddaughters game ( a usual thing for me) her father had taken her on a trip and there was a possibility they might not arrive back in time for the game . Ok not huge I know the other children’s parents and the players, if they get back in time the granddaughter and my son would be dropped off and I would give them a ride home. Easy
I went to the soccer field the prior game ended and NO ONE else came no players no one the game had been rescheduled ( I am not a parent not on the coaches email list)
I was sad I sent a message to my son with the schedule he had sent me showing the game times and locations along with the message I was there but no one else was.
I did cry I did write a nasty note to my son (which I did not send)
I did use skills I learned here from you and from my therapy classes to coop
I was able to stop crying after a few hours ( I used to cry day after day most times not even knowing the trigger for the crying)
Reset my thoughts I can not change/control others I can change my own thinking
I did try to make a plan to deal with the next time I am not notified of a change in plans but at this point it is only a short term plan ( I can ask the team coach to be put on the emailing list so I’ll get the schedule changes directly rather than from my son)
Long term I don’t know because the issue is really that I know this will happen in some form again so how do I change me so don’t feel so
disappointed when I am left out of the information loop
With this time I have interacted with my son as though nothing happened (he sent a text message apologizing for failing to forward the scheduling of the soccer game changes) in the past I would have ranted about how my time is valuable you wasted my day I guess I am not important to you and on and on but I have done that before and it’s not the person I want to be and it has not changed his behavior so this time I changed mine I read his messages I continued my life with him as if this had not happened or it was a non issue.
I am working on me my reactions my actions it’s hard there will always be disappoints it is my choice how I deal with them
I will do my best to minimize my exposure to them
Thank you for putting yourself out there and helping others especially those who have yet to discover therapy and medications
I would still be crying if I did not have a few tools to help me weather this storm
Okay, I know so not the point of this post but you look amazing and I love your jeans!! I also love the point of this post ? Please keep writing! I’m loving reading all of this!
Thanks for another insightful post–your whole series has been great. I loved the idea that others can pull you off your game, as most of the time, we attribute our grumpiness only to our own failings, forgetting that we do interact in a big world. And what a great decoration you made, too!